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Conquering Confidence for Parents - Part 2

Now that you have identified what confidence means to you and what it feels like I would now like you to think about in which aspects of your life do you need more confidence in?

Common situations could be, going to new places for the first time, worrying about whether your child will behave appropriately, what to wear, what to say or dealing with more day to day situations in your life like complaining as a restaurant or work issues. I recently had a client who had experienced domestic abuse and had really low self esteem.  She was a beautiful woman but when asked “what do you physically like about yourself” she said “I don’t mind my nails” and that is all she could come up with.  We looked  at different ways we could improve her appearance and she came up with a plan which included buying new face cream, dying her hair, her friend doing her nails and moisturising her body.  As a result the next time I saw her she said she “felt totally better” and more confident and happy. 

 

 Carefully think of the areas in your life that you would like to gain more confidence in, write a list or draw a diagram.  Then prioritise and think in which area if you gain which area will give you the biggest result eg when I am eating and exercising well I feel very confident and that has an impact on all the other areas in my life.  If you need more confidence at work, think of specific situations such as delivering presentations or managing conflict.  How about outside of work, such as meeting new people at social events?  Be honest with yourself and really think about the situations carefully.

 What simple steps can I take to improve my confidence? Once you have decided which area will give you the biggest benefit what simple actions you can take to improve your confidence.  If you would like to get out of the house more think of where you could go, how much it would cost, would the times suit you and your family, is there a friend you could go with?  Keep focused on the greater impact a more confident you will have in different aspects of your life.  

 Putting it into practice - I am a great procrastinator so talking, thinking and planning is easy but putting it into action is a whole new ball game!  So some practical steps you can take to put your plan into place are setting a goal e.g. I will go a group/class on a specific date, putting it in your diary, planning for it in terms of clothes/how to travel there/where to park etc.  The funniest thing about improving my confidence is that it is the smallest thing that can take away my confidence, so for me it is about finding the place and parking the car!  So think carefully about the aspects of the situation you have control over and work on those and the areas you don’t, well don’t even think about it! 

 Tomorrow we will be focusing on your Keeping your Confidence on Track!

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